tv Good Day New York Street Talk FOX August 29, 2015 6:00am-6:30am EDT
>> hello and welcome to good day "street talk" antwan lewis reporting here's what we're working on today up close and personal conversation with people impacted by domestic violence. now despites the physical and a emotional trauma, today we see the strength and resilience of a few survivors. our first guest made headline when is her father award-winning director of music videos convicted of sexual abuse against her and her siblings. aziza kibibi is joining us now to share her story, and fist hello thank you so much for talking to us today. >> thanks for having me. >> how old were you when it
started happening? >> when my father molesting me i was eight years old. sometimes i look at pictures like wow. because i'm in my head, so it feels like it is just always me and there's not really a age. you know, but when i look at pictures of me at eight and a the fact that i was so small, then, it is even more heartbreaking. >> now, for people who don't know your father, your father is an a award-winning director he directed several quell received mtv music videos including the one bit fugees. >> jerry. >> when did you know that something wasn't right here? >> i guess when i was in feign a lot. the fact that i was young, and my dad was raping me, i started to fight back more. against him -- before when i was very young when he first started molesting me, i wasn't sure. it was confusing because he is my father, and i was doing what
he told me to do. so just over time as he got more violent, then of course because i was hurting, and he was had -- they think threatening me i knew it was wrong. >> you would old education of how many? >> 9 siblings. my dad had a lot a. the count i have so far is 25. >> did you feel a sense of when this started to impact your other, your siblings with you being eldest. how did you handle that? >> well, it was tough because my father used their safety against me. he had me doing certain thing, in order to prevent, to stop him from doing things with my sisters. so he would use the fact that he could go on to molest them against me so that i wouldn't say anything or try to fight back against him. >> a lot of people will what are this, and even as question get further into conversation one of the first things peopling will say is where was your mom? you know --
>> my mom was in the household. she was in the household. she was an abused woman. he would beat her, and when she did try to speak against him, and go against what he was doing to me, then yes. he would retaliate out of anger. >> you're dealing with all of this, how does an eight-year-old girl grow and did you reach out to anyone at school? >> i wasn't in school, i was homeschooled. >>okay. >> my female -- family was my world. my father got rid of any connection with my extended family which was my grandmother on my mom's side. so the -- there was limited interaction with anybody outside of our immediate nucleus. >> did you and siblings form any sort of further bond if you will going through this nightmare that you're dealing with? >> we did, but another thing that abusers do is that they make everyone enemies. >> one against the other.
>> all of my siblings were trained to tell on everybody if you know acted out of line, and because we were being taught that this was a way of life, you know, your parents are telling you to do something, you just do it. if you're obedient we were pretty obedient children. >> you were eight years old when this started as you just told us that impacted you said your sisters. and then probably the real nightmare if you will that there could be further was when you found out you had become pregnant how old were you when you had the the first child by your father? >> when i was 15 and i had her when i was 16. so i mean, my body was not even fully developed in order to breast-feed her. and that was a challenge in itself. now because i had a lot of siblings that i helped care for, i mean, i taught a lot of my brothers and sisters how to read and write. so the maternal instinct was
natural. but you know, just being responsible for a child solely responsible and then even once my daughter was born, my son i mean, my dad would use safety in order to keep me quiet. >> this man sounds like a controlling monster, and just -- as i'm listening to this, even and just reading up on you before you came on, i understand that in his mind, he was saying something about a bloodline? >> yes, he -- after my daughter was born and she did not have any health issues that we could see, he had decided because she was pure blood as he called it, she would be first of a new race that he was creating. so after she was born, he had decided that he was going to continue to breed me and make children to start a new race. >> did this pass on to your siblings also? >> it did, it did. to four other girls, yes.
>> did he -- we want to let everyone know he's behind bars. >> yes, he is. >> honing has he been? >> he has wow since 2006 he's been behind bars serving a 90-year seasons? >> is that enough? >> i think for his age it would be enough. he can't hurt anybody else through those 90 years but my nature i really don't wish harm on other people. so you know, i leave a lot up to god. what he has to answer for. so i don't think i'm in the position to say if that is enough. [laughter] but the -- i think logistically, and it is enough. >> did you ever policewoman -- blame yourself? >> yes of course. what did i do to get this kind of attention and the fact that my father was telling me that i was to blame. then i believed him. i believed him. i believed that i did something
wrong, or i wasn't good enough, and even for regular punishment is look if i didn't do my chores or if i was line and just regular everyday kid stuff, he would punish me in a sexual way. >> i just want to let you know that i'm really wrestling to stay composed here because inside there's just this -- anger. you know, that knowing that these types of predators, you know, are out there. and they know no race. they know no religion, craft. there's no one particular box that they all come in. how did you get through this? >> god, one. i knew that eventually i trusted that eventually i would escape. i think i internalized a lot of things, and then when i started having children they was the most important to me, and i write. i'm a writer. i've always written used to
write in my diary but my father found it and that hindered. and the fact that he was in the music industry, and he was always busy. so you know he worked and only thing i dread ready times that he would come to rape me or have sex with me or you know if we said the wrong thing, a violent beating, so life in my family was just trying to get through each day without being punished for something or -- you know. having something horrible happen. >> you had is it three? >> i have had five for him pregnant five, four live birthses one passed away in 2010. >> did other people know or how did you explain? >> no. no, nobody else knew. especially once i got pregnant. then i couldn't even go to visit my grandmother. on both sides of the family, he moved us down to south jersey so
there wasn't any contact with any other family. so no one knew, and then as his career became more public, he started intrusion introducing me as his young wife. >> as a wife. how did that make you feel? for a young girl you're already going through, trying to deal with puberty, and a all of that. how in the world did you process all of this? >> i have maybe i have a strong spirit? [laughter] just one thing at a time, and tried to process it the best way as i can, and try to maintain. and i guess having a purpose like protecting my siblings and protecting my children, i kind of put myself aside. so -- one day at a time. >> you were absolutely showing a strength that i couldn't even begin to imagine for a woman, you know, or beginning of a child has gone u through. so we thank you just so much for coming by to talk to us and
the fugees killing me softly. so in the 80s to 90s very prolific. you said he passed you off as his young wife at some point. also as you heard in our last segment aziza was pregnant five times with four children who survived the pregnancy but one passed away. >> one. she had spinal muscular atrophy, also -- she had two because she was imbred and died of complications. >> you've been so kind, and being franck and open with us and sharing this story of what you went through u. you brought your children. >> i did. >> all lovely bunch here let's meet everybody and get name it is right. arrishtk. and montsho and aloba how old are you?
>> 12. 21, 18, and 15 you're the oldest when were you first told of how you came to be? >> i was about 14. and mommy like kind of just pulled me aside and she was saying, because when i was little i always asked her who was my father and why aren't with we with him and gave me vague answers at 14 she pulled me aside and told me that her father was my father. and you know, everything that happen whatted. >> what does a 14-year-old do when you hear something as devastate as that? >> i was shocked. but i did know something was off. especially since my aunt like -- we didn't have a connection with them. and i didn't know them like that
>> i found out when i was 13, and i wouldn't say i was speechless. like it was like late night had to be around 10:00. i want to say i was speechless, but also you know, i have like -- where there's bad there has to be good. the fact that we were into my mother's life that was a good thing. >> how angry did -- >> i was, i was, yeah. >> yeah. >> kind of hard to not get angry. you know, you have -- you kind of have that feeling of, you know, if not like you're that kind of person. but when you know that somebody close to you has hurt somebody else really close to you, you get, you know, some -- [inaudible] or hope they have a bad life you know, or --
>> i hope this isn't out of bounds but when was the last time any of you have seen this man, and thankfullies he's behind bars. when was the last time? >> when i was 13. me, my mother, and my grandmother were at india scare in jersey shopping. and she went to go get her ear rings fixed, and he was there in the same place that she was to get her ear rings fixed. i didn't see him face-to-face. i was in the car like parked car across the street because my grandmother was only one who went in. and i got like a little glance. that was it. >> yeah, last time i saw him was at his sentencing so that was in 2013, and besides being overwhelmed with emotion, i mean, there was some fear. there's still, but i have this
weird sense of compassion i guess, it was weird. because he looked, obviously, luke he was suffering. i think as another human being suffering in that way, but i was just really hurt by everything that he had done and the fact that he was denying the things that he had done. so it was a little overwhelming. >> you've written a book also tell us about your book. >> well my book is called unashamed a life painted. there's three versions of it. of the first one, it is on amazon by incest and volume number one, volume two coming out on 24th, i'll be doing a precinct book that is unashamed two. so -- >> was that therapeutic for you? >> it was to get everything out on paper and still not everything.
but to get everything out on paper, even how i process a lot of what happened to me, and the things that i went through with my children, and whole journey, and then read it back, it was emotional. but it was freeing. >> your relationship with your mother. what is that like now? >> we're very close. i'm very frank and open with my mother. should have done more? >> she does -- >> i appreciate and admire her strength and continuum, because as a parent, as the other parent she's very responsible. so she takes all of that. >> let me say this, first of all, i am overwhelmed at just how well adjusted you know, you've got teenagers, you know, who are here, and even during the commercial break, you know
are just i would just say for another kid that i would have passed on the street well mannered. well behaved given horror of what their mom has gone through. i think strength aa lowed row to survive what began at eight. we won't say how many years ago because i won't give your age away. but strength that you had there is clearly passed on. you know, to your line, so just i thank you all for coming and sharing and being open and frank about what is beginning on and what has happened in your lives. there's a reason you know man like you be that you're here for that i hope that inspiration suspect lost upon any of you. up next creator of a powerful new. that takes domestic violence head on and faced on personal experience. our conversation continue when
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>> we're back continuing our discussion on the horror and trauma of domestic violent jahmar hill is an actor, writerring with director, and creditor of award winning film last, love lost he continues our discussion this morning so nice to meet you, sir, and a before we get into the film club which is powerful, though. >> i did see it couple of weeks back, you lived through this. you watched earlier segment, and still talking about it. but what was your experience like growing up with domestic violence? >> when i feel like we are witnessing type of domestic violence, you know, and it is something that stuck with me growing up.
something that if i just was like you know, i think instead of doing average type of film, i want to do something positive and inspire someone and tell them it is okay to speak upon it. so i said why not put it into a film? but you know, this is -- this is like you said something very powerful. we all need to speak upon that. >> it happened in your home? >> it did, you know, it did. i imagine it impacted the women in the family. the mom and sister. how old were you when you started to witness this? >> six -- >> six. yep. >> did you understand what was going on or know that something was not right here? >> i mean, you don't really pay attention when you're young. you know your mom is your everything. you don't pay attention to that. you just want to be her protector. so i can't say -- i can't say i knew that that is what it was domestic violence.
you know something that ain't right but a sad thing to watch with anybody. you know what i mean? this is something that we all need to address. >> so you wrote this film and film is again called last love lost. and is it i saw a clip. very powerful we're looking at it right now. describe to us what was seeing right here. >> this scene right here is my father abusing my mom. he just happens to be an alcoholic he comes in from the house from doing something around a the business cheating on my mother, and she's questioning him about where he been at. >> let's look at it. >> i'm leaving you. i'm done with you. >> you candidate ain't going nowhere. >> you put that gun away. >> puts that gun away. >> you ain't going nowhere. >> put the gun away. >> warm you doing?
>> get out of here. this ain't got nothing to do with you. >> dad, put the gun down. >> wow. and that is just the clip. i saw the whole thing, now we want to let people know, that without giving away the end, there's a twist. you know, to the end, but the film was well received. >> thanks. actress lead actress tonia won awards, you know so quell received. how can people get access to it now? >> right now you can preorder it on amazon, best buy, fye and barnes & noble. also to be on video on demand. powerful message. >> yeah, man. >> when you get your oscar -- do not forget about us? all day, man. >> jahmar hill and film again last love lost. all right we'll put information up on our witness and best wishes to you as you continue to tell good stories. >> thank you man appreciate it. coming up next if you're in an
how to get out of this? >> welcome back we've been hearing firsthand count of horror of domestic violence and from safe horizon. discussion. tell us about safe horizon. >> large fest biggest victim provider in country and a here in the five boroughs also largest provider of domestic violence services in the country right here in new york city. >> err how common place is this? we see people are abused but you break down reality this is your field. >> sure. well, the centers for disease control so federal public health research says that one in four american women in her lifetime will experience domestic violence. and that is not just somebody looking at you funny that is hitting, punching, spitting, shaming, about kicking, you
know, it is terrible, and when you think of one in four women, you realize that all of us, everybody knows and loves people for whom this is their reality. >> jamal hill based upon his own experiences had an alcohol problem. what are common causes you know of this? factor? >> it may contradict but not the cause of domestic violence it is a pattern of may have that everybody lates over time and that usually involves power and control. so it is not just two people shoving each other but one person over time gaming more and more control over the other person, restricting their access to family and a friends, and loved ones, support, restricting their access to money. so it is not just one drunken fight, it is, you know, a all-day all night pattern of behavior.
>> if a woman or person is in this type of situation who is watching, this morning, what should they do? >> i ask you to call 311 ask for domestic violence hotline and you'll reach safe horizon these are complicated problems. people often ask why does she stay? she's in love with this guy he may be her husband. he may be the father of her children. it is a complicated situation. and it can take a long time to extricate yourself. so the fist step is reaching out for help. again, 311, all new yorkers can access domestic violence hotline and connected to safe horizon. >> thank you for what safe horizon does and hopefully something that will eventually not a point conversation. >> thank you for making it a conversation that is how we make this available. >> thank you so much. to learn more about today's topics go to myfoxny.com and click public affairs tab. like us on facebook and as well